Team Yoplait is running 2nd in the teams classification
Geez. What a let down. You’d think at this stage of the tour there would be action a plenty. But to come out and dish up something as boring as what we have just seen is a real disappointment. Those boys from Euskatel have not only caused most of the crashes in the peleton, though also just threw the worst party in tour history.
To be honest, I don’t know why we even turned up. To start, they were only serving light beer. What a disgrace. We are professional athletes. Never again I tell you.
The boys and I decided to start some of our own fun so got a few locals back to the team bus for a drink and a dance. It’s my wife’s birthday today, so to celebrate, I got a lap dance from one of the girls who looked quite similar to the missus. It made me miss home, but not all together.
Fabian gets a quick gobby from the team car to release the pressure of his nuts on the saddle in a long stage
At the start of today’s race, we all felt pretty fresh due to the small amount of drinking last night, but it was hot. The peleton decided for another go slow stage to keep it real before we head into the hills tomorrow. Lance is still not that nervous. He had a good tanning session before the start and is looking great for his on camera work. It was very light and friendly at the start line. A nice relaxed start to the day compared to some of the other more stressful stages.
Out on the road the temperature kept rising. Things were slow and boring. We once again sent a couple of useless noofas on a break away to keep them amused and to get a bit of tv time, though we were running out of entertainment fast. Gregory, Jani, Chris Horner and a few of the boys from Astana decided to spice things up a bit to keep ourselves entertained.
We told Carlos Barredo that Rui Costa said his missus was a “uselss fat bitch” and that she was the tour’s cannondale because most of the pro peleton had been for a ride on her. Carlos is a hot under the collar spanish bloke and we hoped for a reaction, though he didn’t really seem to care out on the road. Needless to say, he did react after the finish line and a few of the crew knew what was happening and got some great footage for us to laugh at over a few dinner rum and cokes.
And just as hilarious from another angle:
At the finish, another plan to hurt Contador also went astray. This time we forked out 100 Euros to a “fake” journo to run out in front of him at the finish line to take him out. What a moron. How you get Contador and McEwen mixed up is beyond me. The last thing we wanted to do was take out an Aussie. This video shows what happened and you can hear that at least by Robbie’s reaction, he was very understanding and well spoken.
Tonight we are once again having a few quiet drinks with some of the locals. I think Lance wanted to do some tequila shots to celebrate the start of the hills, so it could get messy.
Tomorrow’s stage is what we have been waiting for. Hills. We have a few bets in the team on who will be the first to spew with a hangover in the sun. It’s easy money really, with Levi usually early to let go of breakfast. I think tomorrow will be fairly relaxed, though at least sort out a few of the noofas on the climb. I expect to finish in the front group if no one notices the engine I put in the frame. We’ll see how things go.