I must admit. We all thought stage three would be the toughest on the bike in this first week as traditionally the race directors insist on drinking nights to calm the nerves in the first few days. Stage two though was just carnage. Some of the boys had huge nights last night. Chris didn’t disappoint with his strip club selection. The VIP tables worked a treat. I remember stumbling back to the team hotel at about 3am and passing the boys from Omega Pharma Lotto who were still going strong. It seemed they were still paying for it at the start line!

There were mixed feelings about today’s stage. Rolling hills with some famous climbs pulled straight from the single day classics races and everyone looked around the peleton at other teams to see what tactics would be thrown around. I think most of the teams of the major GC riders tried to flex their muscles at some stage. Everything was going according to plan and the break was getting pulled in, when it all started to happen. A few minor falls earlier in the day turned into slip sliding everywhere. I haven’t seen carnage like that since the team Sky boys and I rode our bikes down a ski hill half tanked last winter.

The peleton ended up all over the place. I can remember passing Tyler Farrar at the side of the road, already with a beer in hand and Robbie Mcewen sitting at a bbq organised by some of the spectators.

Up front, I was chatting to Fabian Cancellara when he was trying to slow the lead group down wondering what was doing. Then he told me why. He’d secretly organised a huge booze up for the boys back at the Saxo team bus after the stage including a big poker game. He didn’t want blood on the carpet and pulled out another little known cycling rule, which is called “conceedies”. It’s basically when you just give up. We let Chavanel up the road for the win, even though we could have pulled him in on a tricycle. We figured that it is still the Tour de France and we might as well gift a Frenchman a victory, because they are pretty useless otherwise. I’m pretty sure they know the “conceedies” rule well. Besides, after Chav’s performance at last year’s poker game, Fabian wasn’t going to tell him about tonight anyway.

So for the rest of the stage, we decided to have an impromptu karaoke contest. I belted out a little Khe Sahn, but I think something was lost in translation for the Euro riders. I didn’t realise Thor Hushovd could do such a good Brittney Spears, but it wasn’t until Fabian belted out “Nessun Dorma” as we crossed the finish line that we had a clear winner.

For me, I got through relatively unscathed. No one really noticed I hitched a ride over the final climb in the team car because there was too much going on. I just kept my head down and jumped back on the bike when the peleton came back together. People just assumed I’d had a crash like the rest of them. A little fake blood goes a long way.

Tomorrow is a monster. Mind you, I doubt I’ll drink more than half a bottle of Canadian Club tonight. There’s too much easy money to be had in the poker game if I keep my wits about me. Those Schleck boys still think a straight beats a flush. I’ll keep you posted with the all important wrap up.

Then onto the bike in the morning and it’s onto the cobbles. Who’s dumb idea was this. I guess we need to make it look like we are having a dig in this first week, but basically what we’ll do is roll some dice tonight to figure out our finishing order for tomorrow and then make it look like we are really trying, even though we’ve pre determined time gaps. Works like a charm. The viewers get what they want and we get to have a nice easy day in the saddle.

I have no idea what is on the cards for tomorrow night either. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

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