Alberto knew he was in trouble when he limped away from his encounter with Diaz
There’s no question how tough the Tour de France is. Alberto Contador showed that for him, he was punished so badly in this year’s tour that he almost lost the race in his bread and butter, the final Time Trial. Not because of the riding, though because Cameron Diaz ended up being a little more of a handful than was initially expected.
Poor Alberto turned up to the start line of the TT looking so drained it was unbelievable. He later told me that his nuts had shriveled up so badly that they looked like the seed out of a peach. It almost cost him the ultimate price. It wasn’t until about half way through the time trial that Alberto started to feel normal again and take the time off Andy that he needed to wrap up the GC for this year’s tour.
Mind you, it was a great battle and at least kept the drunk viewers awake… even me.
For the Radio Shack boys, we almost threw away the teams classification as well. Lance threw the biggest party I had ever seen. Only a few select guests this time, though just solid drinking. We realise that Paris is so close, though almost under estimated the effort we would have to put in in the time trial to keep the team victory in our grasp. Luckily, the Caisse boys sank more booze than we did and thus rode like complete powder puffs.
Andy Schleck wondered how he forgot to eat for three weeks
The massive amounts of cash we unleashed on Cancellara was money well spent. I wonder how many followers of the diary made a profit? You really should listen to me if you want to get the inside running on the betting. We know a sure thing when we see it. Sure, Tony Martin gave it a shake, but Fabian hadn’t kicked in the 2 stroke at that point and ultimately won easily.
It all finishes in Paris tomorrow and we know Lance has a monster night planned again when he posts it on twitter! Usually we keep things fairly quiet about the drinking so that people think we are professional, but Lance is so old now, he doesn’t really care.
Lance with the understatement of the tour announced on twitter
I think everyone is looking forward to a good feed and a few good night’s sleep. The tour really does take it out of you.
Tomorrow is the traditional ride into Paris where no doubt there will be skylarking and high jinks galore. I’m planning on placing a number of red back spiders in the cycling shorts of a few of the riders which should be good for a laugh. It’s also a great chance to steal some shit from some of the other teams who aren’t paying attention either. Last year we drove away with the team car from Barloworld without anyone noticing. It was later found burnt out somewhere off the autobarn in Germany which I still maintain to Police I had nothing to do with. It’s also the only stage of the tour where we can openly scull copious amounts of piss without copping shit from the wankers and do gooders in the media. Mind you, it is a bit poor when you can only drink champagne in front of the cameras. I can guarantee you though that us Radio Shack boys will have something much more enjoyable in our drink bottles as per usual.
